Haiku
Birthday haiku for William Shatner
01 month ago
William Shatner: from Trek to Drek. (CC Jerry Avenaim, 2005)
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Must. Not. Lose. Focus.
Crucial. Anniversary.
I AM… CAPTAIN KIRK.
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Happy birthday, William Shatner, M.O.T.
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Birthday haiku for Adam Levine (Mar. 18)
02 months ago
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Button, Tilt-a-whirl
sing your best, make him swivel
he’ll grovel for you
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Happy birthday, Adam Levine. (From Maroon 5 and NBC’s The Voice.)
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Birthday haiku for Joseph Gordon-Levitt
03 months ago
by Seamus McQuippah
in Haiku
So versatile -- awkward teen alien to just plain ol' awkward teen. (Image: Caryn Loveless)
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Three rocks from the sun
an alien teen grows up,
infiltrates your dreams
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Happy birthday, JoGo.
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Birthday haiku for Mark Spitz
03 months ago
Those Olympic gold medals won't do much to quell anti-Semitic conspiracies re: control of global currency...
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Besides the mustache
swam faster by pretending
mother was chasing
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Happy birthday, Mark Spitz.
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Birthday haiku for Pauly Shore
03 months ago
by Seamus McQuippah
in Haiku
Hey buddy! (Image: Nate "Igor" Smith)
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Jewish parent woes:
he’s not just ‘not a doctor’ –
stoner-icon son
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Happy birthday, Pauly Shore (44).
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Birthday haiku for Paul Newman (R.I.P.)
03 months ago
by Seamus McQuippah
in Haiku
Newman, half-Jewish on his father's side, roaming around the big ol' ranch dressing in the sky. (Image: PaulNewman.com)
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whereas grandma would
mentally undress you, please
just dress my salad
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Happy birthday, Paul Newman (RIP). You’re salad dressing continues to do a lot of good in this world.
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Birthday haiku for Bill Maher
14 months ago
Can't stop this old man from making new rules. (Image: Angela George, CC BY 3.0)
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new rule, atheists
half-jews can’t hide from G-d with
twice the opinions
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Happy birthday, Bill Maher. We knew you had some of us in ya!
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Birthday haiku for Howard Stern
04 months ago
by Seamus McQuippah
in Haiku
Howard Stern is now a family friendly show. God save America. (Image: Stellar K, CC BY 3.0)
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Cuss with the same mouth
with which you kiss your mother?
‘Talented,’ indeed.
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Happy belated birthday, Howard Stern (58 this Jan. 12). Please don’t ask people to make out on “America’s Got Talent.” Family show etiquette.
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Birthday haiku for Dustin Diamond
04 months ago
Samuel Powers, as a wee little fawn.
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Screech – nebbish, nurtured
youth prodigy ‘so exciting’
now leaves us ‘so … scared.’
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Happy Birthday, Dustin Diamond (35 on Jan. 7). Alas, you’ve strayed so far from nerd-dom of your ‘Saved By the Bell’ days.
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Birthday haiku for Alison Brie
14 months ago
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Woe, naked shvitzgoers!
Would that I’d laid gaze on thee,
O Miss JCC!
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Happy Birthday, Alison Brie. The Jewish Community Center in Southern California should be proud to have supporting actress from Community and Mad Men among their ranks. And a two-time ‘Maxim 100′ honoree for good measure!
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Birthday haiku for Mayim Bialik
05 months ago
FACT: Blossom premiered in 1991. MIRACLE: If you'd have been born in 1991, gone to Yeshiva University and subsequently joined The Maccabeats, real-life Blossom would have a crush on you today.
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Chilled with nerds, princes
Now flips latkes in the air
Crushed potatoes, hearts
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Happy Birthday, Mayim Bialik (36). How did you go from Will Smith to The Macca… uch un vey, it’s hurts so much I can’t even say their name.
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Birthday Haiku for Kirk Douglas
05 months ago
Kirk Douglas. And yes, this is how he looks today. So shut up.
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With a “Lust for Life,”
“Champion” “Out of the Past”
Finds “Lust For Glory”
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Happy Birthday, Kirk Douglas (95). You’ve persevered through seemingly insurmountable challenges — especially blogging on Myspace into the year 2011.
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